Friday, April 26, 2013

Très Chic, Oui?

Cocaine Princess here.

Take a look at the picture below. Can you guess what it is? I snapped the picture with my cell phone so forgive the quality of it. 

If you guessed a nasty looking bruise on the side of my knee then you guessed correctly. Go ahead and pat yourself on the back. 

I discovered this lovely purplish contusion on Wednesday and showed it off to sister. Jokingly I said,

ME:  What do you think? 
It's the latest fashion look. Très chic, oui?

She wasn't too amused by my humor.

SISTER: How did that happen?!

ME: I don't know.

SISTER: You don't know?

ME: No.

SISTER: Look at the size of it--- how's that possible?

ME: I don't know.

SISTER: How long have you had it?

ME: I noticed it this morning so I really don't know how long it's been there.

SISTER: Stop saying 'I don't know.'

ME: I can't help it. You keep on asking me questions that I have no answers for.

At that point she began poking the purple blob of flesh with her finger. I noticed her nail polish was slightly chipped. She never use to polish her nails but I was finally able to break her down and convince her she needed a little color. Now if only she kept up with the maintenance.

SISTER: Does that hurt?

ME: Only when you keep touching it otherwise no.

I took her hand and put it in front of her face.

ME: Look at your nail polish--- it's chipped. What do you suppose your students are thinking?

SISTER: You really think they notice? Their minds are already pre-occupied with One Direction or the hockey playoffs.

ME: You never know, there maybe a young fashionista in training among your students and she's thinking, 'Eww, Miss A's nails look gross.' 

SISTER: Do me a favor, go see the doctor. I'm worried.

ME: You're not the only one. How do you think I'm going to look when I'm wearing a dress? Now I have to deal with the possibility of strangers pointing and staring at my leg because of this damn bruise.

Sister rolled her eyes and shook her head. Personally I didn't think too much of it and figured it must have happened while I was either working out or when I was doing yoga. I've been trying out a new pose and it's a little tricky. I wasn't too concerned about it until she spotted 2 other bruises which I was totally unaware of located on the back of my thigh. 

Yesterday I paid a visit to the doctor. He questioned whether or not I bumped into something? I replied no. 

Dr. Are you sure? Maybe you don't remember? 

Great! Do I also have memory loss now?

ME: Yes, I'm sure I would have remembered if I bumped into something that would cause a bruise like this.  

Dr. Not always, sometimes the slightest little bump can cause a dark, large bruise.

He then proceeded to ask me a few general questions in regards to my overall health and ordered a blood test. When I inquired as to what could have caused the bruising he replied, “let’s wait and see what the blood test reveals.” Two floors from his office was the lab. While waiting my turn I looked over the blood test form and saw the doctor had 5 boxes checked off next to abbreviated medical terms. When the lab nurse called my name I handed her the form and followed her into a cubicle. 5 vials of my Latin blood were drawn. On my way out the good nurse handed me a juice box and a package containing 2 plain cookies. It was a good thing she did otherwise I might have passed out.

I couldn't get out of my head what the doctor said, let’s wait and see what the blood test reveals. What did he mean by that? What was he looking for? Needless to say my level of curiosity skyrocketed which prompted me to play online medical doctor. I googled unexplained bruises. Good God, what a bad idea that turned out to be. I couldn't believe some of the unsettling things that came up!

I decided to share the wealth of information I gathered with sister. Midway through reading the list of things that might be wrong with me she went all Chef Ramsay on me by ordering me to shut it down and to quit medical sleuthing. She did however offer a bit of advice.

SISTER: Darling, just relax and think positive.  

The results of my blood work won't be ready until next week!

Relax? I have a hard enough time shutting off my brain at night in order for a good night's sleep and now thanks to my 'medical sleuthing' there's goes my 4 measly hours of sleep. I’m sure it’s nothing but I can’t help but think the worst. Damn you Google! Hmm, I only have myself to blame. Or can I shift the blame to sister for making me go to the doctor? Or, is it my fault for listening to sister? If I hadn't I wouldn't have gone to see the doctor, right? Of course I'm right! Sheesh, the one time I actually listen to her has now put me in panic mode. 

My loyal and dear readers it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a fantastic last weekend of April. God knows I'll try to. ~x

Cocaine Princess


Gorilla Bananas said...

Relax, Princess, you couldn't possibly remember everything that pressed up against the side of your knee. I'm more interested in what your fingernails look like with all the attention you're giving your sister's. Red are they?

Cocaine Princess said...

Gorilla Bananas at 2:27,
No, my nails aren't red. Check out "Lil' Boa Peep" by Essie (Repstyle Collection)

Bathwater said...

I like the new picture at the top better than the bruise. I can't believe your Canadian medical system-- a week for blood results?

I would not want that here. Don't believe what you read on Google until you get official results. Enjoy the weekend it actually might start getting warm.

Cocaine Princess said...

Bathwater at 9:39,
Thank you.

It takes only 3 days. Technically they won't be ready til Tuesday so I have to suffer waiting thru the weekend & Monday.

Bruce Johnson said...

Heal up soon, the thought of you looking bad in a dress in unbearable.

Cocaine Princess said...

Bruce at 2:57,
Thank you Bruce.

Red Shoes said...

Well... me being who I am... and how I am... was going to guess rough sex!

But then, that's how I roll... :oD

Re: Canadian Medical System, that's what my friends keep saying we need here in the States...

I hope that nasty looking splotch goes away!!!



Cocaine Princess said...

Red Shoes at 5:54,

Miss Stormy Marples said...


Nasty bruise.

The pup and I are both "under the weather" since Friday evening. He has been throwing up and looks "tired and pitiful". He is resting now and stopped throwing up. I kept watch over him to see if we needed to go to vet.

Sore throat for me and no sleep. So I feel "tired". I have slept in for as long as possible but now up and getting ready for event tonight.

I have an awards dinner to go to this evening. I'm really not up for it but I promised I would be someone's date and was only going to cancel if the pup had not improved.

This last week was busy for me. Was out-of-the office for required yearly training. It was actually good this year. I got to play with one of the K-9 pups and saw my old lover as well.

Anyhoo--take care of your self. That would scare me too not knowing how I banged myself up.

Have a good weekend.

Cocaine Princess said...

Miss Stormy Marples at 3:40,
Sorry you & your puppy haven't been feeling too well. Sore throats are the worst! Rest up & I hope you both feel better real soon.