Friday, April 27, 2012

Winter Vaycay: The Idiot Wedding Planner


Cocaine Princess here.

I know my loyal readers have been hungry for me to post the continuing saga of my winter vaycay. To read the entire last part click here.

To review:  

FLAKY BARBIE: Maybe you and my boyfriend can catch up and reminisce about old times? 

But wait, she wasn't finished. While looking at my polished toes:

FLAKY BARBIE: I love that color! 

She went from boyfriend to the subject of nail polish color in under 5 seconds flat! 

Valentina texted another message:

VALENTINA: I think all the silicone from her beach balls somehow leaked upwards into what little brain she has.

 Winter Vaycay: The Idiot Wedding Planner

I leaned back in my pedicure massage chair and returned to my magazine but not before looking at Valentina, who of course had to say something:

VALENTINA: They have the combined IQ of a rock.

The following afternoon the vow renewal ceremony took place at the resort outside in the gardens. There was a cobblestone path that lead from the pool area to the resorts’ lush and tropical gardens. A sign was posted at the start of the cobblestone path that read, “Private Function” with a rope that closed off the entire area except for the invited guests.

Valentina and I were up in the suite getting ready. Neither of us had attended her wedding 5 years ago since we weren’t acquainted with her however Val’s daddy {who had flown in for the nuptials} attended their wedding seeing how he’s close with The Panamanian. But over these last few years of attending the same social functions we became friends you could say. The invite specifically asked each guest wear white and in lieu of gifts a donation be made instead to the couple’s favorite charity. The invite was lying on the dining room table. Valentina picked it up.

VALENTINA: Too bad they’re not accepting gifts. I had the most perfect gift in mind.

I was in the kitchen where my purse lay on the counter. I wore a white strapless dress with a sweetheart neck. The front part was embellished with gold studs that formed
a sunburst pattern. Opening my white Chanel chain strap bag I checked to make sure I had all my essentials. You know: lipstick, lip gloss and my compact. Check, check and
check! I took out my compact and lightly touched up my lips with a bit of gloss.

ME: And what would you have bought for the happy couple.

VALENTINA: It’s more of a gift for that fat, balding Panamanian.

I advised my best friend that it wasn’t a good idea to keep referring to The Panamanian as fat and balding. She may slip up and say it in his presence. Valentina replied the chances of that ever happening were impossible since she’s never spoken to him and probably never would. I then questioned what if she made the slip in front of Topless Barbie?

VALENTINA: She has trouble keeping up with Sesame Street, I doubt she’d even know what I was talking about. So do you or don't you want to know what I'd buy him?

I nodded yes. Hey, I was curious!

VALENTINA: A gift certificate to Jenny Craig. I’m not sure what I’d buy his wife, although I’m sure science would love to take a crack at that brain of hers.

To Be Continued.... 

Sorry to end this post here my lovelies but it’s been one busy week. I can’t believe how quickly this month is going--- can you believe the month of May is nearly here?


A new horror flick is opening this weekend, “The Raven” starring John Cusack. 

Plot: When a madman begins committing horrific murders inspired by Edgar Allan Poe's works, a young Baltimore detective joins forces with Poe to stop him from making his stories a reality. 

Here is the official trailer:

Hmm, I wonder what Mr. Poe would think of the film? 

Question: What is your favorite poem by Edgar Allen Poe? 

I've always liked The Simpsons adaption of The Raven” from “Treehouse Of Horror.” Click here to view it and might I say, how awesome is the voice of James Earl Jones!

But I also like Christopher Walken's version too.


My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a magnificent last weekend of April. ~x

Cocaine Princess


Anonymous said...

Luke I am your father.

Hapa girl said...

I can't wait for the next installment!!!

Anonymous said...

Where's the blow??

kennady said...

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