Friday, March 23, 2012

Winter Vaycay: Oh Dear God

Cocaine Princess here.
To Review:

Topless Barbie tapped my arm questioning what was so funny? I lied by explaining Valentina and I were recalling a funny incident from the past which then led to this:

TOPLESS BARBIE: Chica, I forgot to introduce you to my best friend. Did you know she’s dating your ex?
"Oh Dear God"

I honestly didn't know what to say or even how to react. If I had a mirror and looked at myself I'm sure I would have had one of those "deer caught in the headlights look." Wow, what a way for Topless Barbie to give an introduction. And here I thought Valentina was blunt but then again I don't think The Panamanian's Wife did it on purpose-- as Valentina mentioned earlier, "she's not all there." Flaky Barbie just stared right at me. Hmm, I'm not sure what the proper etiquette is in situations like this? Do I say, "hello, nice to meet you?" Flaky Barbie finally broke the ice:

FLAKY BARBIE: Who would have thought you and I would have something in common. 

Oh good grief! Again, what is the proper etiquette? I went from feeling awkward to downright odd and uncomfortable. While feeling this way Valentina began with the texting:

VALENTINA: Doesn't she look like a bobble~head?

FLAKY BARBIE: Tough break about you not being his type. He wouldn't have dumped you if you were.

Not to sound like a broken record but once more, what is the proper etiquette? How do you respond back to such a statement-- a statement that had absolutely no truth to it, especially the latter. I decided not to say anything and thought it was best I keep quiet. As long I knew what the truth was I really didn't care what she thought. I sat back in my chair however Valentina, well, what can I say other than she didn't sit back nor did she stay quiet and had a look across her face that meant: "Oh dear God, stand back people because she's about to blow!!"

VALENTINA: Is that what you heard-- she wasn't his type and that
he dumped her? 

FLAKY BARBIE: Everybody knows that's what happened. It's common knowledge.

VALENTINA: Here's a little newsflash blondie: she broke up with him and had damn good reason to, so whomever feed you that piece of s#*t which I bet came from his camp, lied. Got it or would you like me to speak slower?

Given Valentina's words and not to mention the tone she used one would assume FB would have gotten the message to never speak or look in our direction again, right? Guess what? She didn't but then again does that really come as a surprise?

FLAKY BARBIE: Yeah, it was his friends who told me.

She nodded while speaking the above words and Valentina was spot on correct- she really did look like a bobble head. Her head just wobbled. Flaky Barbie then made a suggestion to me that left me wondering if perhaps she had been dropped on her head as a child.

FLAKY BARBIE: Maybe you and my boyfriend can catch up and reminisce about old times? 

But wait, she wasn't finished. While looking at my polished toes:

FLAKY BARBIE: I love that color! 

She went from boyfriend to the subject of nail polish color in under 5 seconds flat! 

Valentina texted another message:

VALENTINA: I think all the silicone from her beach balls somehow leaked upwards into what little brain she has.

To Be Continued.

This past week our region has been experiencing record breaking temperatures. People wearing shorts, sandals on their feet and summer clothing in March is unheard of {for us} during this time of year and so are temperatures in the high 20s. Yesterday was the hottest day on record  for the month of March. We hit +26C. I know many times I have lashed out at Mother Nature but this week she deserves a hefty round of applause.

My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a terrific first weekend of Spring. ~x

Cocaine Princess

1 comment:

The Constant Complainer said...

Any post which includes Valentina texting smack talk is a pleasure to read. I love it when you two get riled up.

And speaking of weather, it was 84 here in Cleveland yesterday. In March???